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CHECK IN GUIDE
SOMETIMES IT’S HARD TO KNOW WHAT TO SAY OR HOW TO START. USE THIS GUIDE TO TURN INTENTION INTO ACTION.
AN EASY 3-STEP GUIDE TO HELP
1. NOTICE
2. REACH OUT
2. REACH OUT
The CHECK IN starts long before you send the text. Pay attention to the subtle shifts, because often, silence is the loudest sign.
Watch for changes: Changes in behavior, mood, or routine. Are they missing usual activities? Is their energy suddenly different? Did their social media use change significantly?
Trust your gut: That feeling of "something just feels off" is your signal to act.
CHECK IN BRO TIP: When in doubt, CHECK IN anyway! You risk nothing by showing you care.
2. REACH OUT
2. REACH OUT
2. REACH OUT
If you aren't sure how to start the conversation, that's okay. The key is to keep it low-pressure, but direct enough to bypass the automatic "I'm fine" defense.
Avoid Generic Greetings: "You good?" often gets an automatic "Yeah, fine" response.
Be Specific: Try, "Hey man, I noticed you've been quiet lately. Everything okay?"
The Goal: Your there to open a door, not to be a therapist or solve their life.
3. LISTEN
2. REACH OUT
3. LISTEN
Don't try to "fix" unless they explicitly asked, either for advice or otherwise. Most people just need to be genuinely heard and understood.
Validate, Don't Advise: Sincere responses are powerful. "That sounds tough, man" or "I get why that would stress you out" goes a long way.
Know Your Limits: If the situation is overwhelming, serious, or if you aren't sure how to proceed, seek or guide them to professional resources.
WHY IT MATTERS
The CHECK IN isn't about solving problems; it's about showing up and connecting. A lot of guys are conditioned not to reach out when they're struggling, making that first step the hardest.
That's why this movement is about action. People are far more likely to respond when someone reaches in. By you reaching out, you break the silence first. A simple step like asking, "Just thinking about you, how's your week going?" can be the conversation starter that makes all the difference.
NOT SURE HOW TO START? Try one of these low-pressure openers:
- "Hey man, we haven't caught up in a while, how are things?"
- "I noticed you've been [missing workouts/quiet in the chat] lately. Everything alright?"
- "Was thinking about you today. How's life treating you? "
- "I need a break from the grind. Want to grab a quick coffee this week?"
Activity-Based CHECK IN Ideas:
- 📱 Send a text: “Yo, just checking in. How’s life?”
- ☕ Meet up: Coffee, lunch, or beer...whatever makes it easy to talk.
- 🎮 Hop on a game: Chat while doing something you both enjoy, like gaming online.
- 🔁 Share CHECK IN BRO: Every tag or mention spreads the movement.
WHAT NOT TO DO
THE CHECK IN IS ABOUT THEM, NOT YOU.
KEEP THE CONNECTION STRONG:
- Don't make it about you: Avoid "I've been so worried." Keep the focus on them.
- Don't push: If they aren't ready to talk, don't force it. Just let them know you’re there.
- Don't minimize: Avoid phrases like "It’s not that bad" or "Just stay positive."
- Don't solve: Resist the urge to give unsolicited advice.
- Don't gossip: A CHECK IN is built on trust. Keep it between you two.
THE FOLLOW-UP
Action: Ask: "What can I do to help you right now?"
Consistency: If they opened up, follow up in a few days: "Hey, just checking back in, how are you doing?"
If they didn't want to talk: No sweat. Try again in a couple of weeks with a casual, "Hope you're having a good week."
CHECK IN BRO TIP: The CHECK IN works best when it's just part of the routine. Make it a habit to ask real questions regularly so that when things do get heavy, the door is already open.
FINAL THOUGHT: KEEP IT SIMPLE
The first step is simply doing it. The goal is to show up, make the connection, and build a culture where a CHECK IN is second nature for everyone.
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