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SOMETIMES IT’S HARD TO KNOW WHAT TO SAY OR HOW TO START.
AN EASY 3-STEP GUIDE TO HELP
1. NOTICE
2. REACH OUT
2. REACH OUT
Pay attention to changes in your friend's behavior, mood, or routine. Missing usual activities, changes in social media use, or just "something feels off" are all valid reasons to CHECK IN.
2. REACH OUT
2. REACH OUT
2. REACH OUT
Keep it simple and direct. "Hey man, noticed you've been quiet lately - everything okay?" works better than "You good?" which often gets an automatic "Yeah fine" response.
3. LISTEN
2. REACH OUT
3. LISTEN
Don't try to fix it unless asked. Most guys just need to be heard. Simple responses like "That sounds tough" or "I get why that would stress you out" go further than advice.
IT'S ABOUT ACTION!
-WHY IT MATTERS-
Checking in isn't about solving problems, it's about showing up. Many guys won't reach out when they're struggling, but they are far more likely to respond when someone reaches in. A simple "Hey bro, how you really doing?" can make all the difference.
Not sure how to start the conversation? Try one of these:
- "Hey man, we haven't caught up in a while - how are things really?"
- "I noticed you've been [missing workouts/quiet in group chat/etc.] - everything alright?"
- "No pressure to respond, just checking in to see how you're holding up"
- "You've seemed a bit off lately - want to grab a coffee and chat?"
- "How's life treating you these days? For real though"
Activity-Based Check-Ins:
- 📱 Text your bro. “Yo, just CHECKING IN. How’s life?”
- ☕ Meet up. Coffee, lunch, or beer, whatever makes it easy to talk.
- 💪 Train together. A gym session can open more than muscles.
- 🎮 Hop on a game. Chat while doing something you both enjoy.
- 💬 Ask for real. “Hey man, noticed you've been quiet lately - everything okay?”
- 🔁 Share a post. Every tag or mention spreads the movement.
What Not To Do
NO ONE IS PERFECT - HERE ARE SOME THINGS TO AVOID AND THINK ABOUT
- Don't make it about you ("I've been worried about you...")
- Don't push too hard if they're not ready to talk
- Don't offer unsolicited advice or "fixes"
- Don't judge or minimize their feelings
- Don't gossip about it with others
Following Up
KEEP IN MIND
KEEP IN MIND
KEEP IN MIND
If they opened up, follow up in a few days with something simple like "Hey, just wanted to check back in - how are you feeling today?" If they didn't want to talk, try again in a couple weeks.
Pro Tip
KEEP IN MIND
KEEP IN MIND
Checking in works best when it's part of your normal friendship. Make it a habit to ask real questions regularly, not just when something seems wrong.
Final Thought: Keep It Simple
Just remember to keep it simple. The first step is just checking in. We're not therapy, we're not a program—we're a simple reminder that men should check in on their bros.
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